All that glisters

We have had the most exciting idea for our Home Improvement Project.

It is so exciting that I have been thinking about it all day.

It was Mark’s idea in the first place. He suggested it and then laughed and laughed, because he knew that it was such a good idea and I would like it so much.

He was right.

I have long hated our fridge.

This is not because there is anything wrong with it in the operational sphere. It is a perfectly good fridge. It is large and useful and has got plenty of space for butter and melons and sausages and pizzas. Half of it is a freezer, and that works very nicely as well. 

I hate it because it is the wrong colour. It is slate grey, and gloomy.

It squats miserably between the kitchen and the living room, swallowing all passing light like an outer-space sinkhole. 

I have tried to cheer it up. I have stuck hearts and butterflies and pictures of the children and postcards from Blackpool all over it, but to no avail. It is as dark and depressing as an undertaker’s price list.

I have asked Mark if he will respray it in a cheerful colour. We have of course still got the John Deere green and the JCB yellow left over from the camper van, but he said that it would mean dismantling it and taking it over to the farm for a couple of days, preferably when the weather was warm and dry.

I don’t like it much but there is no doubt that I do not want it to disappear up to the farm in a hundred pieces, especially on a warm dry day.

Last night Mark had the brilliant idea of getting a vinyl wrap.

This is what you do to cars when you want to put advertisements on them. If you have got a London taxi, which we have had in the past, then you can boost your income by putting pictures of insurance companies and mobile telephones on the doors. People will give you money to do this.

We do not have a London taxi now, which is a sad thing. The modern sort is called a TX1, and they are absolutely ace. 

Anyway, Mark suggested that we bought some shiny vinyl and wrapped the fridge.

He said that he had an idea for the very perfect vinyl. 

It is on the car in the picture. 

Mostly that colour seems to be popular in Dubai, and India, but we have found some on eBay, which is enough not just to do the fridge, but the front of the dishwasher and the microwave as well. 

I think that it is magnificent. 

We are going to have the loveliest kitchen.

When we got married we went on our honeymoon to London. We had just got married, and so we stayed in the Savoy. 

We had the most fantastic time, and whilst we were there we went to explore Harrods.

I loved Harrods, especially the ace statue of Diana and Dodie flying to heaven together. 

I admired the Egyptian decorations a great deal as well.

Whilst we were there we discovered the Home Furnishing department. They had a fridge in there.

It was half a fridge and half a freezer, just like ours, only it was painted in dark green, and across the front of it it said: Harrods, in large gold letters.

We liked it very much indeed. 

The thing was that it was a special Limited Edition, and cost three thousand pounds. 

This was a long time ago and three thousand pounds was even more of a very lot of money than it is now. 

We thought about it very hard and longingly, but in the end decided, reluctantly, that three thousand pounds was just too expensive for a fridge, 

We walked away.

We have regretted that ever since. 

We have sighed over the Lost Fridge on many occasions. 

We would not make that mistake again.

Today I know that we are going to have an even better fridge.

It is the only idea for a fridge that I have ever liked better than having one which says Harrods in gold paint.

This will be a far better fridge even than that one. It will be better because it is all our own idea, and because it will not only have gold letters on it, but it will be gold all over. 

Mark laughs every time he thinks about it. I can tell that he is thinking about fridges, because little chuckles explode out of him, even when he is doing dull things like sweeping up.

It is going to be our very own unique fridge.

I can hardly wait for the vinyl to arrive.