Relief

You will be thrilled to hear that once again the Gods have rescued us from the perils of bleak poverty and pennilessness.

Actually it was my mum and dad really, but it felt a bit like divine rescue, the way things happen at the last minute in American films.

They rang up this morning whilst we were rushing about trying to organise paperwork, to tell us that they had put some cash in our bank account to pay for the new car.

I cannot describe the gratitude and relief that washed over me. All sorts of things that had floated off out of my reach on our sea of troubles, suddenly bobbed enticingly back into my grasp. Instead of having to spend every penny on purchasing a new taxi, suddenly we could use the car-purchase money to pay the school fees, which was what we were going to do with it in the first place. This, in its turn meant that we would be able to afford shampoo and coffee and shoe polish, and the world would be a happy place.

It is always a better world when there is shoe polish in it. It is rubbish trying to make your shoes look nicer with soot. I have tried this. It does not work well. I have heard that some soldiers wee on their shoes to make them shiny. I have not tried this, and probably won’t, even if we were to be bankrupt.

Our world now has shoe polish and light hearts, and suddenly we felt much more cheerful. Do not believe any idiot who tells you that money does not buy happiness. I can tell you from today’s personal experience that it jolly well does. Shoe polish and happiness.

We were not buying shoe polish today. I have only mentioned that because we have run out of the dark tan stuff, and it is on my list of things I must do tomorrow. Today we were organising a new taxi.

There are all sorts of complicated things that must be done when you are buying a new taxi. There are all the usual shenanigans of tax and insurance, but also you have got to go into the council offices and explain yourself. You have got to give them  all sorts of improbable details, like whether you have got planning permission on your house, but mostly you have got to provide details of the meter, and the vehicle and of your taxi company.

Our taxi company is called Pay More Wait Longer Taxis. I like the name but there is never room for it on the council’s form.

There was a helpful girl on the desk today. It is nice to have reached a level of taxi-driving omniscience where I can explain even difficult things sensibly, and we managed to get everything changed over really very smoothly.

We can’t use it as a taxi yet, because it has to have some new door stickers printed. They won’t be ready until tomorrow, or maybe Friday, so we will have to go back then. In any case we have got to get a new meter fitted, which won’t happen until tomorrow, when Roger Radio, who is also self-employed, has come back from his children’s parents’ meeting.

Mark drove the new taxi home.

He said that it was splendid.

I am very pleased about this. I did not like my last taxi very much. It had all sorts of difficulties, not least that it had the most recalcitrant gearbox I have ever encountered. This one is old, but it is smoother and runs far better. This was also a massive relief. It is always exciting when you buy a car that you have never tried to drive.

I was engaged in filling in paperwork when the phone rang, and it was Number One Daughter and Ritalin Boy.

It is Ritalin Boy’s birthday. He is eight.

We had one of those telephone calls where you look at people whilst you are talking. I do not like these, because you can see yourself in the telephone as well as the person on the other end, and it is not me, but my grandmother looking  out at me.

Apart from this, it was splendid to see them. Ritalin Boy wagged and bounced about happily, and agreed that he was having an ace birthday. He has got some credits for a game called Fortnite that he plays online. Oliver spends his birthday money on these as well. The credit things mean that your on-screen character can do little dances and wear exciting clothes.

I love that we live in a world where these games are real, they are beyond the daydreams even of Captain Kirk, how fantastic to adventure through an imaginary world with all of your friends beside you, even when you are stuck at home on your own.

Number One Daughter said that I had got thinner, which she could not possibly know, because mostly the picture of me was just from the end of my nose to my chin, because it isn’t easy to get in the right place for these telephone things. I pretended to myself that I believed her, but I don’t really.

She also said that she was dyeing her hair because it is going grey.

I had to stop and think quietly about that for a little while when she had gone.

I am so old that my daughter is going grey.

I am trying not to think that my parents have just given me some pocket money.

I love this picture of them.