Present

We slept late.

When we woke up it was to discover that the children had been busily painting Oliver’s bedroom. They had already painted most of the walls, the edges of the ceiling and some of the carpet, and it was obvious that Mark had jolly well better get the ceiling plastered whilst he still had time.

He went off to do that and I examined our new battery charger. We use so many batteries that I have got fed up of sloshing out cash in the ironmonger’s and have purchased a battery charger and some rechargeables from the wonderful Amazon.

This was because a calculation had led me to the uncomfortable discovery that we were spending £236.00 every year merely on running our electric toothbrushes, clocks, pencil sharpeners and computer keyboards.

This was, I thought, a very lot, even taking into account successful avoidance of dentist bills, having sharp pencils, and managing not to be late for things.

Hence we are going to have a change of approach. We are going to become economically Green, and feel virtuous as well as wealthier.

We are not wealthier yet, because I have just spent a fortune on replacing all of our batteries. In fact we are now considerably poorer than we would have been had in just bitten the bullet and just spent a fiver in the ironmonger’s.

It is a long-term investment, a bit like making a donation to the Liberal Party.

Mark has promised that when he builds the new house extension in the garden he will include a solar panel from which we can power the charging machine, and thus cut down our colossal expenses yet further.

I am excited about this but not yet entirely convinced. He thinks that he might start building it next week, which is when we had thought that we might go to London. Of course he has only got a week, so probably we will have a half-built room and a great deal of mess in the garden for a long time to come. The solar panel might be even further in the future. I am awaiting developments with my fingers crossed.

The children were practising Oliver’s English examination skills. He was perched on his mattress, which is currently on Lucy’s bedroom floor whilst his bedroom is being reconstructed, writing a story on his computer.

Lucy was supervising from behind her own computer, whilst ostensibly writing her business studies essay and actually, I noticed, watching Friends on YouTube. Every now and again she glanced up and sternly reminded him that he appeared to have stopped typing., which made him look anxiously back at his computer again. She would make a formidable teacher.

I left them to it and before I started getting ready for work I had an absolute inspiration.

I cleaned the bathroom. This was to make a lovely Monday present for me.

I have come to dislike Mondays very much, because they always involve cleaning. There are six of us in the house, so this is not inconsiderable, and Monday has become the day on which I wearily pick up the dishcloth and stump about the house gloomily, wiping things and changing sheets.

This is not a merry way to start a week.

I can make it feel more cheerful by buying flowers or lighting scented candles, which add an air of extravagance to the event, but broadly it is difficult to make oneself feel an air of happy excitement about cleaning.

This week I have done something nice for myself. I shall get up on Monday to a clean bathroom.

At least it will be relatively clean. It will only have had four showers in it.

The important thing is that my very worst job of the whole week has been done. I shall be getting up tomorrow to a day without a gloomy bleach-scented tidemark-scrubbing hour in it, and believe me, that will be lovely.

I can look forward to the morning.

The picture is Mark and Roger Poopy. It has been a busy week.