We have bought some walnuts in their shells as a Christmas present for the dogs.

The dogs do not know that they have got a Christmas present, because we have not bothered explaining the whole Midwinter Feast/present giving/birth of Jesus thing to them. The dogs know only that there is a large bowl of walnuts, handily in the fireplace just at nose level, and so far nobody has shouted at them for stealing them.

The appearance of this has been both exciting and troubling. The dogs are not sure whether or not they are allowed to take the walnuts. They think that it might be all right, and every now and again, when nobody is looking, which is always the safest way to do anything, they creep in and help themselves to a walnut, and retreat really quickly to somewhere inconspicuous where they can noisily crunch it into fragments and ferret the walnut out of the middle.

They like these so much they have stopped raiding the chocolate from the Christmas tree.

The troubling part is that every now and again, somebody barefoot comes past and stands on a crunched-up walnut shell and shouts and swears a lot, with especial reference to the dogs.

The dogs are not quite sure what to make of this, and hence have decided on a policy of secrecy as far as the walnuts are concerned. If nobody knows that you have taken a walnut and left the shell in a thousand razor-sharp pieces in an unexpected place, like under the desk or at the top of the stairs, or in front of the fridge, nobody can possibly blame you.

What can go wrong?

Either way, they are having a very happy Christmas.

I am writing this on the taxi rank. It is raining, and I am having an almost completely undisturbed evening.

I am sanguine about this. It is pleasant to read and to write letters and write to you. It is almost like having a night off, especially in the sense of not earning anything very much.

Also I have got my boots on and there are no unexpected walnut shells on the taxi rank.

It has been a jolly long day.

Oliver started working at the barber’s shop again this morning. They are rushed off their feet as Christmas approaches, and desperately needed a boy to shovel up hair and make cups of coffee. I am in favour of child labour and financial independence, so we set our alarm for eight o’ clock in order to be supportive, in case warming up his own croissant in the microwave turned out to be beyond him. 

It didn’t, so he is on his own tomorrow.

Once he had bounced out of the back door we had activities of our own. Mark wrapped the children’s Christmas presents whilst I ambled about in the kitchen.

Before we went away I had bought some miniature pastry cases from the food wholesaler just across the street from our house. 

This supplies all the major hotels and restaurants and is the place to go if you want to do interesting cooking or need enormous quantities of something. Apart from all of the normal ingredients for food, they have got things like agar agar, which sounds important although I don’t know what it is, and vegetarian gelatin, and all sorts of things that would be useful if you were a five star chef.

I am not a five star chef, but liked the idea of canapés, having been served them on several smart occasions during the festive season.

I had thought that they would make an interesting addition to a diet that relies heavily on picnics. 

Today I dug the cases out and experimented with filling some of them.

I did some Chinese ones with peppers and onions fried in sesame oil, topped with a prawn and drenched in spicy sauce. I did some Greek ones, with rice and lamb topped with feta cheese. I did some healthy ones, with shallots and cottage cheese and celery, and some unhealthy ones, with mushrooms cooked in cream and red Leicester cheese with pesto and pine nuts. 

After that I cooked pigs in blankets and roasted some baby peppers. I stuffed these with a mixture of dried tomatoes and cream cheese and basil and garlic. They are jolly good. 

When I had finished there was loads of the different mixtures left, so I put them in the fridge. I can do it all again when we have eaten these. 

They are a wonderful addition to an undisturbed picnic. I have got a splendid book and Christmas chocolates and mince pies and a large flask of tea to go with them.

I am having a very merry Christmas indeed so far.

3 Comments

  1. GrannyJanet Reply

    As somebody who only has cats, I guess I shouldn’t interfere with your dogs’ happy Christmas treats, but thinking of the sharp bits of shell I googled ‘Can dogs eat walnuts uk?’ and unfortunately found this:

    Walnuts
    English walnuts, Japanese walnuts, and black walnuts – should not be fed to pets. Apart from the risk of intestinal obstruction and stomach irritation, walnuts can be toxic to dogs. Moldy walnuts (any variety) can contain fungi called tremorgenic mycotoxins, and if your dog is exposed to it, they can have seizures and other dangerous neurological complications.

    (Oh dear, although I expect Mark knows better … and I’m sure you don’t serve mouldy walnuts!)

    • If it’s any consolation, when we lived in France everybody had walnut trees. All dogs raided the fallen ones. They seemed to survive all right. They can’t be any worse than all the rest of the horrible stuff they eat left to themselves.

Write A Comment