We sat in bed with coffee this morning filled with the gloomy knowledge that we had got a difficult and tiresome day ahead.
Dearie me, we were right.
We had got all sorts of things to do. Mark and I had got to go to the dentist, after which I had got to take the children back to school.
As regular readers might remember, our dentist is in Barrow-in-Furness, which is not on the way to York from our house, unless you are popping in to America first.
We dashed around this morning, getting our picnic ready for work, and then issued the children with detailed instructions relating to ablutions and pre-school polishing, supplied them with some nice flat clothes to be put on once they were shiny and clean, and off we went.
The road along the lake towards Barrow is closed.
Cumbria County Council has got what I know really is an entirely admirable policy of getting all of its road matters dealt with in the winter, when there are no tourists. I know that when we get to August I will be very pleased that they have done this, but it is a bit tiresome now. There are roads closed all over the place, and the ones that have remained open are decorated with traffic lights like a gypsy bride’s dress with sequins.
We went the long way round.
When we got to Ulverston they had dug the road up there as well, so we sat in traffic for ages and then had to drive at an exciting speed overtaking everybody else in order to get to the dentist on time. This was because the extra half an hour I had thought would be sufficient to get us through the roadworks wasn’t.
We got there just as the clock struck two, and it says much for the rest of the day that the time spent sitting in the dentist’s chair turned out to be the very nicest part of it.
Mark comes in with me, because I am scared of the dentist, although really she is the loveliest and least scary person imaginable. She is tiny, and slim, and fluttery, and Spanish, and pats you reassuringly as she leads you in.
She patted my face kindly with the tips of her fingers and told me that my teeth were so nicely clean, and that I must be happy that I had such a lovely mouth. She said that it was not kind to the teeth to scrub them hard with a toothbrush, and that I must imagine that the toothbrush is for the gentle massage.
She told Mark that he would have to have his teeth polished by the hygienist, but that he must not be afraid because she would be very kindly and not cross or bossy. She added that she knew anyway that he was very brave because of having had two teeth taken out last year.
Then she wrote out a new prescription for the toothpaste that I have, after which she was afraid that Mark might feel left out, so she gave him some sample tubes of toothpaste as well.
We went away feeling as though we had been to see the Tooth Fairy, because she is so completely gentle and delicate.
Then we sat in traffic for another hour in the way home.
When we got home I had ten minutes before it was time to set off with the children. Mark put his overalls on and went to lie underneath the car, because it was making a funny noise, but he couldn’t find out what it was, and the funny noise continued until I was halfway to school, and then it stopped.
I took the children back. It is always nice to do, they are entertaining company, today’s discussion was about why grown ups think that children should not see pictures of sex. I wasn’t much help, because of having no idea, but Oliver said darkly that there were some boys in his school who were quite irritating enough already without spending their whole lives looking at pictures of sex.
I had just got to Lucy’s school when the phone rang, and it was Mark. He had stayed at home to go to work and earn us some money, except he couldn’t because he had just realised that he had left his cash box, which contained the key for his taxi, in my car.
I dropped Lucy off and put my foot down on the way back. I would have made it in record time except that when I got back to the top of the fell coming down into Kendal they had closed that road as well, so had to take a ten mile detour via Sedbergh. This was especially exciting because the fuel light had come on and the funny noise had made a reappearance.
I arrived home to realise that Oliver had spilt apple juice all over the back seat of the car, and we had a busy twenty minutes trying to scrub it clean and dry it with the hairdryer.
After that we went to work, which is where I am now. I have had enough of being in the car, and am looking forward to the day being over.
It is midnight. Four hours to go.
