I have made a discovery today which has made my life immeasurably happier.
Regular readers might remember that occasionally I am plagued by brain-shrivelling headaches.
I don’t talk about them on here very much because of not wishing to grumble, being of a noble and uncomplaining sort of nature.
I have had one this week.
It was such a ear-twisting scorcher that eventually I took considerably more than the recommended dose of painkillers in order to keep it at bay. In the end I looked up ‘headaches’ on the Internet, to see if there might be a better way of not having one, and discovered, to my surprise, that what I have had was not merely any old ordinary headache, but a special important sort of headache, called a migraine.
Of course I have heard of migraines before, but I had always understood that they were preceded by going slightly insane and involved seeing flashing lights. Since I have only ever seen flashing lights on occasions when the local police have been trying to get hold of me for something, I had never considered that a migraine might be the problem.
I read the description with breathless interest, since it is on the Internet it must be true. The excruciating descriptions of nausea and gripping pain down one side of the head matched my recent adventures exactly, and I was delighted. How splendid to have a real medical sort of headache, instead of the common-or-garden excuse for idleness sort.
The whole thing was an amazing discovery. The Internet medical specialists, who know absolutely everything about everything, explained that the thing to do with a migraine is to take the drugs when you feel it coming on, instead waiting for the point when it hurts so much that giving in feels as though it might be allowed.
I always know when they are coming, because of feeling suddenly desperately cold and rather more confused than usual. I don’t think they are triggered by cheese or chocolate, otherwise my life would have become an agony of head-unhappiness long ago, although the jury is still out on the red wine. I often get a headache after that.
I felt very pleased indeed. Instead of feeling guilty about my usual coping method of taking drugs and whingeing, I know now that I have been brave and noble for suffering from a real thing without taking myself off to Accident And Emergency and demanding that the NHS earn the National Insurance I have not paid an awful lot towards over the years.
If you have got a headache, everybody knows that it is your own fault for having children. However if you have a migraine it is all right to collapse into a dark room and feel sorry for yourself sometimes. This sounds like absolute headache bliss, and I am looking forward to it no end. How brilliant it will be to have a real, medically described ailment which allows me to take drugs and to slope off to recover in peace.
I explained all of this to Mark over breakfast, who listened kindly and laughed. He said that it was perfectly all right to have any sort of headache that I liked, and then went off to do some more things to the camper van.
There is a picture of his efforts at the top. It is a shelf over the door from which we can hang damp towels when we have had a shower, and I am very pleased with it.
I washed all of our things from the weekend and went to the library and to the Co-op.
I made our picnic and eventually had a little snooze before work. I am allowed to do this now because I am a person who suffers from a real medical thing, certified by the Internet, and I need to look after myself properly.
How very pleasing.
