Artistic licence

We have had a tidy up in Mark’s shed.

This is partly because we have got visitors coming tomorrow, but also because fortunately there is nobody staying in the farm holiday let at the moment, so we could have a bonfire.

This started yesterday and we put a bit more on its smouldering remains this afternoon. Mark’s sister does not like bonfires whilst there are guests in the holiday let. Given yesterday’s adventure with the undetected aerosol can, I suppose this is perfectly reasonable.

Today’s bonfire was relatively disappointing, without a single exciting incident to report. The only explosion we had today came earlier.

Somebody had given us a loudspeaker system for use on the camper van. To my delight this said on its box that it had five different animal noises, five different sirens and also a microphone, for broadcasting to the world, so that you could shout your feelings to other road users. Obviously I was entirely captivated with this idea, and today prevailed upon Mark to get it out and try it.

It was a cheap Chinese model, with several spelling mistakes on the box, and no instructions whatsoever.

Mark does not feel the need for instructions. He unearthed an old car battery from under his workbench and we wired it in. I turned it on, at which point it exploded, with a loud bang and a puff of smoke.

Mark laughed a lot, and said that the Gods were putting their foot down, there are some things that I simply should not be allowed to have, but I can’t help being a bit sorry. It would have been lovely to be able to tell other motorists and Japanese people crossing the road what I thought about them.

He spent the rest of the afternoon creating some indicators and side lights for the camper van, which didn’t have either. Mark has made some out of LEDs, and they work rather splendidly.

I admired them profusely. Mark showed me some mysterious wires sticking out beside the lights which appear to have no particular function, and might have been added by Monsieur Banana Fingers for some arcane purpose of his own. I thought sadly how perfect they would have been for a loudspeaker system. Our camper van is an endless curiosity, it is almost forty years old and seems to have always been owned by DIY enthusiasts, its little secrets seem to carry on for ever.

I finished off my painting on Mark’s door. It is a blacksmith’s forge, because this is what best represents Mark and his life and loves. Obviously there are other things that he loves in life but I am not going to paint them, who wants to look at a picture of half-eaten cake?

I have taken a picture of it and added it below, I know it looks a bit incomplete at the top of it, but that is because the driver’s mirror goes there and I am not spending ages painting pictures that nobody will ever see. Also I have got bored with painting pictures of ironmongery anyway. Mark said that there should be more hammers, but I am not interested enough in hammers to want to paint any more. I thought that there should be a lot more mess, but I am not going to paint mess either, if it were really Mark’s there would be nails and bits of wire and things that might come in useful stacked about all over the place. It is artistic licence.

All I have got to paint now is my own door. I have got to think about what best represents me and my life and loves. I have still not got beyond ‘maybe cake’. This is no good at all, I will have to come up with something more holistic and spiritual than that. I will keep you posted.

On our way home we went to talk to somebody about buying a field, who is going to telephone us when she has had a think about it.

This is jolly exciting.

I will keep you posted about that as well.