It was my fortune last night to be seated on the taxi rank next to one of the more obsessive drivers.
John used to work for us when we had a taxi company, so we are on very sociable terms, and as it happened he started chatting about his special interest, which is Blackpool.
I know you think that I have a good acquaintance with Blackpool, but let me tell you, it is nothing compared to John.
John has contributed so much meticulously researched information, and patiently traced memorabilia, that Blackpool Tower has not only made him a Friend for life, but has put his photograph up on their wall alongside Princess Diana.
I listened to him talking until he got a job, which was just as well, because my eyes were just starting to glaze over with the wealth of detail, names, dates, ceremonies, etc, all of which he seemed to be able to recall without hesitation.
After that I glanced over to the other side of the taxi rank, where Mark was showing a puzzled Polish driver some of the many pictures of our camper van project, and realised, not for the first time, that our job does tend to attract oddballs and obsessives.
Speaking of which…
We had to go into Kendal today, obviously because we wanted to collect some bolts that Mark had ordered for the camper van. We needed to go to Asda as well because of having run out of everything to eat, but that was such a dull sort of thing to do that we have been putting it off.
We are supposed to be doing ethical shopping at the moment, but we have run out of so much that we couldn’t afford it to be ethical, in fact we could barely afford for it to be irresponsible and unsound. Actually, we couldn’t afford it at all and had to take advantage of our handy overdraft facility, but there are worse things and if we die now then we will be winning.
It all took ages, partly because we forgot to bring the shopping bags with us. We couldn’t put the shopping in the boot because that bit was full of dogs, so we had to pile it all on to the back seat. We had bought so much that it quickly became a huge and teetering pile, tidily stacked at Mark’s side of the car, and random and collapsing at my side.
We should have gone home to unload it all, and have a sleep before work, but we were longing to get back to the camper, so we left it in the car outside Mark’s shed and had some strong black coffee instead.
We didn’t have very long at the farm, but it was very exciting. I know that the picture at the top looks just like any other picture of the camper, but it differs from the others in one very exciting aspect.
It has got a windscreen in it.
We took the windscreen out months and months ago, and it has been stored out of harm’s way in the back of the donor taxi.
Today we got it out very carefully. We cleaned it all up and put it back.
It wasn’t just dirty. It was also covered in black spray paint done years and years ago by Monsieur Banana Fingers when he painted his home made dashboard without bothering to mask the windscreen off.
Mark cleaned it all with thinners. It has never looked so clear.
Putting it back was the most tremendously breath-holding undertaking. Firstly there was the scary possibility of breaking it during installation, and then you will remember that Mark has rebuilt all of the front of the cab. We knew that there was the terrible chance that he might have made some tiny mistake, and the windscreen would not fit any more.
Of course he hadn’t.
He invented a special windscreen insertion tool out of a welding rod and gently eased the rubber edging into place.
We didn’t break it either.
We have got a windscreen.
After that we sprayed lacquer all over my paintings on the sides of the van.
This was a very peculiar moment.
I had not expected to feel anything about this, but actually I did.
It felt very strange to be making it all permanent.
Up until now the whole lot could have been taken off in half an hour with a hose pipe and a brillo pad.
Now it is there for ever. Mark said that you would have to sand the whole thing off down to the bare metal to get the pictures off, and they are as permanent as anything about road transport ever can be.
The lacquer has made it all shiny and official.
It was a very odd feeling. We really do have an illustrated camper van.
It took ages to get the shopping unpacked.
