There is a competition for writing short stories of three hundred words. It costs nine quid to enter unless you write three of them, in which case it is only six quid each.

You have got to put up your entries in a couple of days, and I have now written two. That is six hundred words. The first was a cheat, because it was my homework crime assignment. I wrote the second today, when we came back from our walk, but I am not quite  certain about it.

Thee stories for the competition do not have to be about crime, you can just write any old thing you like. My second story is about a shepherd. I have written the end twice, and I am not sure which I like best. In one the shepherd has his wish-come-true, and in the second he just murders the fairy.

I am mildly amused by the idea of murdering a fairy. The shepherd hangs it on the wall, like you do with moles, pour encourager les autres.

I have never understood that. Surely moles live underground and do not climb fences, even if there is a row of their dead brethren at the top.

Fairies might climb walls. I do not know.

Anyway I have written it, two down and one to go, I will have another think on tomorrow’s walk.

In other news, I have cleaned one of the kitchen cupboards. I have not cleaned them since we put them there, and it showed. They all need cleaning but I have only cleaned one, after which I had had enough. In any case I would rather write stories than clean cupboards, and Mark quite likes reading stories and would certainly never notice if the cupboards were clean. He did not even notice the fridge, although I got him to put the mayonnaise away, and the cheesecake, and he went in it again this morning for the orange juice.

The fridge is still an object of beauty, even though Mark has been in there twice now. I keep opening it and feeling as though I am in an advertisement. This only works if the dogs are not anywhere to be seen. They would not be any good in an advertisement, except possibly as the Before bit in a Before And After dog shampoo advertisement.

I hoovered and dusted the bedroom, which is another thing that Mark will never notice, but it needed doing because I bought myself some Reduced To Clear flowers in Booths yesterday, and if you are going to ornament your bedroom it should be clean as well. There is no point in ornamental floral displays if they are surrounded in swathes of grey fluff.

Also I am pleased to tell you that I had bannock for breakfast this morning, which was absolutely fine, and far better than any reckless hot cross bun extravagance, although I am going to need to get some more butter quite soon. The thing about walking over the fells is that I am always starving when I come down.

LATER NOTE: Mark thinks definitely the murdered fairy, which made him laugh a lot.

Also he brought me some more flowers, which was nice, so it is an extra good thing that I have dusted.

He has been listening to the news, which he does not usually do, and so he is not thinking about murdered fairies but windmills and solar panels, because the price that the Russians are charging for their gas means that electricity is going to be expensive. I do not entirely understand this because British Gas said that our gas bill is still going to cost the same, but I am sure the Government can be trusted, as always.

Mark thinks that he might be able to get some batteries left over from a wind farm and that maybe we could put them in the conservatory.

I am sure that this will be lovely, perhaps they could go under the sofa.

I will worry about that another time.

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