I am sitting, slightly uncomfortably and stickily, on the taxi rank.
It has been another wonderfully warm day, and I have been so completely occupied that I have not managed to have my post-run shower.
Usually once I have dashed up the fell and back again, I shower, change and feel refreshed and ready for the day.
Today I came back and remembered that Mark had unscrewed the bathroom door from its hinges in order that I could paint it during my home-decorating activities. We hang the towels on the backs of the doors, Mark’s in the bathroom and mine in the bedroom.
This morning I had picked up the newly homeless towels and put them into the washing machine.
I had no towel, and nowhere to undress decently.
The bathroom is directly opposite the front door, which has got glass windows in it.
There are some things I would not wish on our postman, who is quite grumpy enough already.
I considered all of these things for a minute or two and decided that it was just all too difficult. Instead of having a shower I thought that I would just get on with the unfinished bedroom painting.
In the spirit of doing things properly, I went to the ironmonger’s for some masking tape, because of wanting the stripes to be straight.
When I got it home it was the dreadfully tiresome stuff that just tears into bits as you try to unroll it.
It must have been old stock. I considered taking it back and requiring a replacement, but quailed before the thought of the indifferent shrug employed by Marion behind the counter, and being handed an equally useless roll of tape which I would have to bring back as well.
It is a wonderful world. I went into the office and typed ‘tearing masking tape’ into the computer, and discovered that the reason it was tearing was that the glue had begun to deteriorate. The solution, the mighty Internet promised, was to shove it in the microwave for twenty seconds.
This worked like an absolute dream. Consider this yet another in the occasional series of Handy Household Tips appearing on these pages. Masking tape that has been warmed for twenty seconds functions perfectly again.
You have to warm it up a second time if you want to use it again later, just so you know.
Once armed with this handy gem I masked the stripes and painted them. It was a bit fiddly, and in the end I got bored, which shows a bit if you look closely, but on the whole I was pleased with my efforts.
I was going to paint the bathroom door, but when I came to put it on the trestles, I realised that the newly-painted bedroom door was there already, and I couldn’t lift it off by myself, at least not without bashing it, or me, or probably both.
I did not want to scrape the beautiful new paint, so I left the bathroom door propped in the hallway. The floors in our house are at such an odd angle that the door is two inches shorter at the handle edge than it is at the hinge edge, and it had an alarming lean once left to its own devices.
This meant that for the rest of the day I was unable to visit the bathroom whilst simultaneously excluding the dogs. They were very pleased to be allowed to accompany me, at least once they discovered that compulsory dog ablutions did not figure in my plans. I was not nearly as pleased to have the company. Some activities are better completed in solitude.
In the end I got absolutely fed up of painting, and so when the lodger sent a text to say that she was coming up for coffee I ditched everything with profound relief.
We spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the garden, until it was time for me to go to work.
I am longing for a shower.
I will be very glad when Mark comes home.
