We have spent absolutely everything.
We have spent the shopping money and the Nice Things Money out of the teapot, we have spent the emergency fuel money and the extra change in case we run out in the taxis.
We do not care. We are exhausted and penniless and happy, and we will just have to go back to work tomorrow and earn some more.
These things happen.
It has been splendid.
Today was the Big One. It was the day we were booked to spend on the funfair. In Blackpool this is called the Pleasure Beach, although it is not a beach really, obviously, because roller coasters would just sink in the sand if it was. I am not quite sure how they manage not to, because it is jolly close to the beach, if we had a tsunami it would be a dreadful mess.
We were excited about this. I can never quite decide why I like the Pleasure Beach, because I am not very interested in roller coasters, although the children went on all of them. I think it is the other-worldly feeling of it, a world where somebody else as well as me paints things in orange and purple paint, where people are scared and excited and thrilled all at once.
My favourite ride is called the River Caves, where you sit in a little boat and are bumped around lots of marvellous places. When I was small I thought it was the most magical thing in the world, to see dinosaurs and cavemen and a blue bit that might be the Arctic or perhaps a Mystical Imaginary place. There is a truly awe-inspiring bit with enormous golden statues, and regal music, and you feel just as though you have gone to Egypt and are looking at the tomb of Tutankhamen. When I was small it made me long to go to the real one, except I never have, and frankly I think the Blackpool version is probably better because there are no tiresome touts trying to get you to spend your money on a camel ride or a balloon ride or a new carpet or a fridge magnet with a picture of the Sphinx. Also there are no mosquitos and although you might have spent all of your money in Blackpool, you have probably not emptied your credit card as well.
The ride is beginning to be very elderly. It has been running for over a hundred years, and lots of bits on it don’t work properly any more. Also they have taken away some of the figures and not replaced them. I think this is probably because they were unsuitable models of black people looking like the pictures in the old-fashioned book of Little Black Sambo. This is also a bit sad. I read Little Black Sambo as a child and it just made me wish I could see Africa. I thought it was thrilling that there were other people in other parts of the world all doing unimaginably different things. It seems a bit dull now that everybody is doing more or less the same.
Anyway, I have not been to Africa either, although I have been to Blackpool lots of times, and daydreamed around the River Caves. The children went on all of the roller coasters, including one called The Big One, which is the highest in the country. We waved to them from the ground and felt relieved that that part of parenting is now over. I am not brave enough for these any more, they leave me feeling unwell now that I am old. We went on some of the gentler ones, the old Big Dipper, which nearly rattled my teeth out. The Wild Mouse used to be the shakiest, but it has been taken down now, presumably before somebody made an insurance claim.
Fortunately, it rained.This does not sound like good fortune, but actually it was, because it meant that not many people had wanted to spend the day on the funfair, so we did not have to queue up very much for anything. Then the rain stopped at around lunchtime, which we celebrated with some doughnuts, and after that it was dry and cheerful.
We ate dozens of doughnuts, so many that we did not want to eat doughnuts any more for the rest of our lives, although I suppose we will grow out of it. By the time we came home I was thinking longingly of carrots and lettuce and tomatoes. Blackpool is brilliant but they do not really have vegetables, certainly not in the doughnuts. This is lovely for a few days, but I am going to be happy to get back to my life.
I like my life. I am glad it has got Blackpool in it occasionally, but it is lovely to be home.
We are in bed. The camper van is unpacked and cleaned, and everything is put away.
We are ready to start life again tomorrow.
