I had an uncomfortable thing happen last night.
We were on the taxi rank, standing about chatting, since it wasn’t raining. We had been exchanging stories of seasonal excess and debauchery with some of the Eastern European taxi drivers, who by and large are really too young to do debauchery with any kind of expertise.
We were just coming to a unanimous taxi decision to stop working once double time finished at midnight, when some late customers appeared around the corner. They were our own age, silver-haired and tall, but dressed in remarkably striking black elegance, with boots and shiny buttons and bright eyes.
They smiled warmly.
I didn’t smile back. I don’t smile at anybody on the taxi rank, because it is a better policy not to. Being friendly with people who have had a great deal to drink usually leads to them being extremely worryingly friendly in return, or to them thinking that you are a gullible idiot and will not object if they buzz off without paying.
Mark was the first taxi in the queue, so I shook my head and pointed towards him.
They hesitated.
“We are happy to travel with you,” they said courteously. “It is a family affair for you anyway, isn’t it?”
I froze into horrified silence, because it is not a good idea to encourage people to be friendly on the taxi rank. I like to be invisible. I am aware that this is not entirely the best of manners, but I am driving a taxi, not attending Alcoholics Anonymous. Questions like ‘what are you reading?’ are far too personal for my comfort, and are met with pretended deafness.
This is a very handy tactic. People very quickly get fed up of shouting their remarks after the first three or four times, and soon subside into peaceful silence.
Insinuations that I might be married to Mark blast through the outside barrier of personal space and in through the kitchen door without bothering to knock.
In any case, courtesy does not usually help in negotiations with taxi drivers. In my experience it is often the forerunner to being icily polite and self-righteous in middle-class determination not to pay the full fare.
I was not at all polite back. I told them that Mark was first, and that taxis go in turns, it is not a case of picking your favourite. I did not use any rude words, but I have always got a few in reserve, just in case.
I would have quite liked to take them, because they were different and beautiful, and looked interesting, but it was not the point.
They looked a bit surprised, but I waved them over to Mark and then ignored them.
Mark came over afterwards.
”I didn’t know that you hadn’t met them,” he said.
It was his friend Ted and his wife. Ted is Mark’s friend with the rural broadband. They are working together trying to make their fortunes.
Of course I had met Ted, but it was years and years ago and I was too busy getting married to have taken much notice.
I have now been rude and dismissive to the person who is Mark’s good friend and patient mentor on the subject of all things internetty.
I felt very unhappy about this. I am not a very nice person sometimes, especially on the taxi rank.
Mark said that it did not matter at all, because Ted had been drinking and probably would not have noticed anyway, but I felt regretful all the same. They had been interesting and different and I would have liked to like them.
Mark went off to work today and came home assuring me that Ted and Mrs. Ted had not been offended, and that he had asked them to come to dinner.
I shall have to pretend to be eccentric, which is a middle class way of describing a rude person who has more money than you have got. I don’t have more money than anybody at the moment, but I could pretend to be it anyway.
Mark worked all day and has got an early start in the morning, and so he has not come to work tonight. I have been swimming, and so am feeling pleased with myself, although not noticeably thinner. There is a terrible storm raging and I am on the taxi rank by myself.
I am completely by myself, there does not seem to be another taxi driver anywhere for miles, nor even any customers. It is very quiet indeed.
The storm is an exciting one and there are trees down all over the place.
The picture is of one which has fallen across the road, although it is a rubbish picture because it was dark and I am not good at taking photographs whilst driving anyway.
I am unlikely to become a better person, but maybe I should make it my ambition to try.
