I do think that if Liz Truss wished to restore her popularity she ought to reconsider her Levelling Up policy.
I think she ought to start with a redistribution of rain. It seems terribly unfair that the poor southerners are struggling so terribly with dry wells, and having to walk miles with buckets on their heads before they have managed to collect sufficient water to fill the hot tub. Here in the north we have got so much rain we really could afford to lose some, and it would be a kind gesture towards genuine equality.
It is raining, as perhaps you have guessed. It is raining so hard and so thoroughly that the dogs and I did not have a walk this morning. We always have a walk, but not today. Today we took an umbrella and dashed round the Library Gardens for a quick emptying instead.
The older two dogs were very pleased and relieved about this, and slunk miserably along the path, trying unsuccessfully to squeeze under my umbrella. Rosie is young enough not to care, and frolicked playfully through the puddles and bounced through the sodden grass, occasionally dashing back to us to leap around merrily and see if anybody would join her. All three of us growled.
She was drenched and muddy, and astounded to discover, on our return, that the other two dogs would not entertain her chilly presence in the dog-bed, and she was ejected to the cushion, where she shivered on her own. I was only marginally sympathetic. I would not wish to share my bed with somebody who had recently rolled in a muddy puddle either.
I am writing to you in a snatched five minutes before leaving for work, not that I am anticipating that I will be doing very much actual working once I get there. In weather like this people do not go out and amble cheerily around the Lake District, pointing out objects of natural beauty and hanging about in beer gardens, following which they need a taxi back to their B&B. They stay at home. My services are unlikely to be in much demand tonight.
Nevertheless I am going to go anyway. Mark has now installed the stove, which is magnificently magnificent, black and shining with not a single gaping rusty hole left anywhere. The chimney is swept, and everything has been reconnected, but we can’t use it yet because there are still gaps in the central heating pipes upstairs, before they get to the tank. Mark says we could light a small fire in a desperate emergency but miserable as today is, it is not an emergency. Instead I cooked things in the oven and switched on the dehumidifier. The house is warm, but I have run out of things to cook now, and tomorrow it will be October, so I am going to go to work.
It is about time, because we shirked last night. We should have rushed out to earn some cash for going to Scotland to collect Oliver in a week or two, but we did not. Instead we loafed about in the house with a glass of wine and a film on Netflix.
This was really quite splendid. It was a virtuous tale of the Thai cave rescue, of those poor little boys and their coach. It was in six episodes, and we only had time for the first two, but nevertheless we liked it very much. It had not been made by the BBC, but by some Thai film company, and it showed. It was a splendidly moralistic tale without a single grumble about the way it was probably the fault of Climate Change and the Government, with all of the leading characters being played by black actors for the purposes of making you think the court of Queen Elizabeth the First was multi-racial, or transgenderly-friendly, or whatever the current fad might be, I have stopped paying attention. Instead it showed lots of stoicism and courage and people working together and trusting one another, which we liked very much, it should be compulsory viewing.
Also we have got a Special Interest in it because one of the real cave divers who rescued the children was an Old Gordonstounian, they pop up all over the place whenever anything exciting is happening, they seem to breed mad lunatics in there. I expect Oliver will also be completely barking when he grows up. He is away at sea this week, school shared a picture of them with some dolphins all around the boat. I will tell you about his adventures if he gets back without drowning.
Probably he will.
He might even be drier than we are.
