I am Dispirited.
That is another way of saying Tired And Cross really, and I am. Especially Tired. And also Cross. I am so tired that I am finding it very difficult to be loving and affectionate with the dogs, who in any case are being disobedient toe-rags, especially when they think I am not paying sufficient attention to notice what they are doing, which is quite a lot of the time really. Number One Son-In-Law sent me some texts whilst we were out on the fells this afternoon, and whilst I was considering them the dogs charged off into the next field and tried to pick a fight with a collie. It bit Rosie, which served her right.
I am not dispirited because of the dogs, although they are not helping. I am Dispirited because I have not had enough sleep. I had to get up on Saturday morning to help Oliver organise his life for going back to school, and obviously this happened not long after I had got into bed in the first place.
Of course I went back to bed in the afternoon, but afternoon sleeps are never easy. First all of your entire family telephones, then some people wanting to discuss The Accident You Have Had telephone, then some tiresome nuisance rings and hangs up, and then the doorbell rings.
This latter was an utterly surprising one which, had I not been sleepy and just in the earliest stages of becoming Dispirited, would have been wonderful. Even despite the lack of spirits, I am entirely sure that it was the Gods trying to cheer me up.
It was a strange man, whom I have never before seen in my life, who handed me a large Easter Egg.
This is for you, he said, greatly to my surprise.
He started to walk off, no doubt preferring not to be quizzed by a wild-eyed woman in her dressing gown, but I shouted after him all the same.
He explained that he had been going to give it to somebody else who no longer wished for it, and so he was giving it to me because I lived nearby. After that he buzzed off, leaving me mystified but pleased. Some of the most peculiar things happen to me.
It has cheered me up a bit just telling you about it, actually.
Now, back to the gloom.
Last night was so very busy that I would not have had time to write a word in here, so it is a good job that I didn’t try, and I am pleased to announce that I have earned enough to pay off the mortgage and the electricity bill for another week, which is always a relief and occasionally a surprise. However I went off to work tonight and was just getting into the swing of earning a lot more when the exhaust fell off the taxi.
This was a Most Dispiriting Moment, not least because it would not fall off properly, but got stuck on the axle and would not come off.
I think that this has been responsible for the squeaking and also some troubling rattling noises. It is a very, very good thing that it did not happen on the way to or from Bath, so I should light a very grateful candle to the Clapped Out Taxi Gods really.
I spent some time trying unsuccessfully to remove it. It is sticking out at the back of the taxi and dragging on the road but will not actually come free because the axle is in the way. This makes a terrible racket and probably a lot of sparks.
I spent some time trying to get it off, dispiritedly, in the pouring rain and the black Lake District night, and eventually gave up. I abandoned the idea of paying the telephone bill as well and chugged home, with the exhaust clanging and bashing itself to pieces on the road behind me.
I will jack the car up tomorrow and try to free it. If it will come off them I will just chuck it in Mark’s shed with all the other rusty rubbish, and go to work anyway.
If it won’t then I do not know what I shall do. I will have to think of something because I need my taxi.
In the meantime I am going to solve at least one problem simply by going to bed early.
That will probably help.
