I am on the taxi rank in Bowness having possibly the least busy night in the world ever.
Sundays are always quiet, not being a traditional night for roister-doistering, on top of which we are having some truly astonishing weather, and I imagine that even the most hardened of determined party goers has sloped off quietly to bed to wait it out.
The weather of the moment is spectacularly uninviting, we are having icy gales filled with hailstones interspersed with prolonged bursts of heavy rain. I am so glad I haven’t come here on my holidays.
Several people asked me in the taxi last night what might be a good thing for them to do today given that there are no boats or ferries running on the lake due to the weather, and nobody in their right mind would fancy going for a walk. Even the dogs didn’t want to know this morning and tried to get back on the sofa when we opened the back door, the icy blast nearly knocked them off their paws.
I was completely at a loss, the only thing I would want to do if I were here on holiday is go home, but of course I didn’t want to say that because I didn’t want to sound as though I felt grumpy about tourists, which I don’t at all, because they are usually happy and spend lots of money. Neither did I want to recommend the Beautiful Wellness Holistic PamperMe Health Spa, which was the only indoor thing I could think of, because I knew I would be going for a swim later and I didn’t want to find the place overcrowded with lots of bored holidaymakers.
Of course there is always the Peter Rabbit Exhibition, but I can’t actually imagine anyone over the age of six ever being that desperate for something to do. Oliver loved it when he was small. School took him once, and then he begged to be taken again at every possible opportunity, much to my irritation. We used to have to go round at least twice every time. I have passed some very tedious hours indeed admiring four foot high fibre glass reproductions of Jeremy Fisher and Tom Kitten and eating expensive carrot cake in the Flopsy Bunnies’ Kitchen.
Also you could go to the Royalty Cinema for the matinee, and watch the Wurlitzer Organ coming up through the floor, which is the way the cinema management, who may be a bit local, try to get you in the right mood for watching Star Wars: The Next Incomprehensible Instalment, and also distract you from noticing that the projector has got a bit of a wobble on it
In the end I suggested that they put on wellies and went for a walk after all, but when I came out to work tonight there were lots of trees blown down everywhere, so I hope nobody got squished.
I did not go anywhere at all all day. Mark went out in his taxi and worked, which meant that we earned some money, mostly taking frozen wet people to the railway station, and he caught up a bit with his book, for which he has not had any time at all whilst he has been busy fixing the taxi this week.
I stayed at home and sewed the curtains. I have done two camper van windows now and am very pleased with myself indeed. It was very frustrating to have to come out to work tonight instead of cutting out the next ones, it is going to be lovely to have thick new curtains in our camper, and I have been quietly happy all day just thinking about it.
We went for a swim before I joined Mark on the taxi rank, so at least I feel clean, and my legs feel nicely stretched, and I have put on my nice Bluebell perfume, which always makes me feel pleased with the world, and when customers get in the taxi they often say that something smells lovely. I have to just nod and smile when they say this, because if I tell them it is perfume they are embarrassed then because they have made a personal remark.
Nobody has said that the taxi smells nice tonight, because nobody at all has got in it. I have been sitting here writing to you for ages and ages, and nobody has moved except the doormen at the bar across the road, who are stamping their feet and smoking cigarettes and trying to keep warm.
As I wrote those very words somebody came across to me and wanted to go to Ambleside, so I am happy to tell you that I am solvent again.
I am glad about this, because I am nearly ready to go home.
I think we can pay the mortgage tomorrow.
