We have discovered, rather to our amusement, this morning that Number One Daughter has become such a paragon of fitness that it is possible to buy a T-shirt with her name on it.
She is sponsored by a sportswear manufacturer called Iron Elite who are so pleased with her that they have produced both a vest and a T shirt proclaiming her magnificence.
They are twenty five quid, so we might not be buying one, but we are very impressed, imagine, we might go somewhere and see somebody wearing a T-shirt which illustrates their admiration of Number One Daughter. This must be how it feels to be JK Rowling’s mother.
In fact we are suddenly a very small household again, because this afternoon Number Two Daughter has buzzed off to visit Number One Daughter, and of course Lucy and Oliver are at school.
This means that there is just me and Mark and the dogs, and when I have finished tidying up and washing after all of the mess they have jointly left behind them, I am sure I will suddenly have lots of time again to do things that I want to do.
Of course it is very lovely to have them all at home, but there is a very great deal of catering and laundry involved, and there always seems to be an enormous clutter of shoes on the doormat. I must confess that secretly I am a little tiny bit relieved to think that I am about to have some days which won’t feature having to take washing back up to bedrooms, especially the ones which are three flights of stairs away.
Of course I know that I could always put washing on the bottom of the stairs, and insist that its owners transport it themselves, but sadly that particular project has failed miserably every time I have tried it so far, resulting in days spent tripping over washing, followed by some shouting, followed by the discovery, several days later, of the very same washing pitched into corners of bedrooms and adapted for use as comfortable dog nests.
Talking of washing, you will be pleased to hear that I have rediscovered my missing underwear. Whilst of course I am very pleased about this, my happiness was slightly muted by finding it folded up in the drawer at home: it would appear that I did not take it with me in the first place.
I do not now wish to remember the awkward phone calls I made yesterday to hotel staff whose smirks, fortunately, I could not see as I tried to describe lacy pink knickers which might or might not have been discarded down the cushions of the comfortable sofa. I shall think of it no more, and definitely not tell anybody. Ever.
Nevertheless I am pleased to have a complete wardrobe once more, and have had another day largely occupied with laundry, being sheets from all of the children’s beds, and towels out of their bathrooms. Number Two Daughter had planned to make a fairly early departure. I had loaded her down with home made picnic and things outgrown by Oliver which might fit Ritalin Boy, but it turned out that she was thwarted in this ambition when she discovered that her car wouldn’t start.
In the end Mark spent a large part of his day taking the wiring in her car to bits and knitting it back together again, after which he thought he would glue the exhaust back on as a special bonus. It took ages before Number Two Daughter was finally on the road, and even then she forgot the mayonnaise I had made to send with her and had to come back.
Once I had got the washing and Number Two Daughter all out of the way I heaved a huge sigh of relief, and suddenly realised that I could hardly keep my eyes open. Mark went to off work early, and I crawled back into bed, where I fell asleep in less than a minute, and stayed that way until it was time to go to work.
The weekend is upon us, and our task is to earn enough money to pay the mortgage. We had hopes that this might not be too unlikely, given the sunshine with which we are currently blessed: but we had forgotten that next weekend is bank holiday, and everybody will be coming next week. In consequence it is fairly quiet here, so we have decided that the best thing to do will be to light a hopeful candle to the Money Gods later and try and direct their attention to our small pecuniary interests.
I have no doubt at all that it will be fine.
