It turns out that you can get wifi signal via your phone at the farm if you stand on the top of the gravel heap and hold your phone in the air.
This is not easy in the dark.
The farm does not have the handy benefit of light pollution from anywhere at all, apart from the moon on a clear night, which it wasn’t.
We staggered up the gravel heap in the rain and Mark held the phone up and I poked my computer desperately.
I tell you this so that you will know what sacrifices have been made on your behalf.
This had the pleasing side effect of emptying the dogs whilst we were doing it, so as soon as we were comfortably uploaded we went to bed.
We were so tired we did not even shower.
I feel vile now. I am looking forward to tonight’s shower more than I can tell you about. I know that this must be worse if you are on exercise in the Army or fleeing from an earthquake, but all the same I feel uncomfortably aware of unwashed feet and yesterday’s jeans. A hot shower will be utter bliss.
With this in mind we have been working on the new bathroom in the camper all day.
Depressingly, after hours and hours of labour, it looks no different at all.
Mark has put the plumbing in for the sink and the shower and the wiring in for the lights, and made a wooden corner piece to which we will fasten all of those items. It will, of course, be magnificent when it is done, but it isn’t.
I have been painting the inside of the bathroom door.
This is pictured above, leaning precariously against the side of the donor taxi. It is far from finished yet, and the idea is that it will accompany the Pirates of the Caribbean theme of the bathroom. Regular readers might recall that I settled on this theme when it became apparent that we could not fit a Moroccan arch around the roof light window.
Obviously I don’t mean Johnny Depp and all of that sort of thing, because that has already been done perfectly well by the Disney Studios. I mean the idea of freedom and rascally adventure, and tall ships and lawlessness. I like the idea of a lawless bathroom, at least until somebody leaves the seat up.
Mark has acquiesced cheerfully with the idea of having a piratical bathroom, and has been busily doing the things underneath the floor that will make it not leak, which is always a good start for any pirate.
It is going to be a jolly good bathroom. We have got some lino that looks like planks to stick on the walls and a shower curtain with a picture of the sea. Watch this space.
The dogs got bored with watching us creating a lawless bathroom in our camper van, and splashed about outside.
Roger Poopy caught a rabbit.
It was a little baby rabbit, and I was not pleased with him.
He was very upset about this. He was already upset because it was dead, instead of running about excitingly, all he did was catch it and it just broke: so he brought it back to see if Mark would fix it.
Mark heartlessly threw it over the fence.
Half an hour later Roger Poopy brought it back again and laid it carefully on the carpet under the camper van table. He curled up next to it, hopefully, but it did not wake up and play again.
Mark said some rude words to poor wicked Roger Poopy, and I explained that the mummy rabbit was probably feeling very upset. Mark took his shovel and dug a hole and buried the poor tiny corpse so that Roger Poopy would not bring it back again. Roger Poopy sighed heavily and hid underneath the table from a world which had all gone unexpectedly wrong.
In the end we had got to stop and go to work, which is where we are now, but it is very tiresome. I would far rather be painting a lawless bathroom door, even though actually I wouldn’t be able to now because it is dark. It is rubbish trying to paint in the dark.
Not long until tomorrow.
