Mark resolved the difficulty of trying not to entertain visitors in our bedroom by suggesting to Ted that perhaps we could bring the camper van down to his house, which is wonderfully called Friendly Cottage. That way, he explained, Ted would be able to drink, and we could just go straight to bed afterwards.
Ted likes to drink, and was pleased with this outcome.
In consequence I have spent today preparing to throw a small party in the camper van.
It will only be a very small party, because there will only be us and Ted. Mrs. Ted is still on their yacht with the children, having rather splendidly decided that there was no reason for her to come home and earn money in the rain when she has got a perfectly good husband to do this on her behalf.
Actually it is not raining. It is still warm and wonderful.
I heard my first cuckoo today. Not my first ever, obviously, but the first of the year. Mark said that he heard one at work earlier in the week, but he was further south. I was ridiculously pleased, and stood listening for ages. The summer is creeping up on us.
I have not yet set off for Ted’s house. I am going to have to drive there in the camper van. I am a bit worried about this, because I have not driven it for years and years, and not at all with its new engine. It is left hand drive, so it might take a bit of remembering how to do it. I hope that it is all right, it would be terrible beyond words if I had an accident.
I am writing this early because I am not entirely confident that I will be able to resist Ted’s bad influence when it comes to alcohol. Ted can talk and drink in the sort of way where you don’t notice that you are drinking an awful lot until suddenly you can’t get up from the table. Regular readers might recall some misfortunes in the past.
I am going to cook pasta, because this is easy to do, even in a camper van. I have made some garlic bread, which has got so much garlic in it that I am going to have to scrape some off into the pasta before I put it in the oven. Also I have made a fruit mousse, which has not set properly yet and is giving me some concern. It is all very well cooking exotic things, but a bit troubling when you have got to drive them along winding country roads in a large vehicle. Driving the camper van is a bit like trying to steer an intoxicated hippopotamus. I hope I do not have to scrape the mousse off the bottom of the fridge when I arrive. Even Mark would probably notice if I tried to feed him mousse dotted with stray bits of lettuce and cheese crumbs.
Sleeping in the living room last night turned out to be lovely, if a bit disorientating. Our heads are in the wrong direction, which feels very strange, our feet are pointing towards the south. Also I had put the sheet on the wrong way round and finished up on the side which smelled of Mark. This is not a bad smell at all, but it is different and odd. I took the sheets off and washed them this morning, to avoid any more confusion.
It was very peculiar to be downstairs when we woke up today. I could talk to Mark whilst he pottered about making coffee and emptying the dishwasher. I could not help with this, because I know perfectly well that if I interfere with things when he has just woken up then it makes him grumpy. He has his own little routines and does not like to be disturbed. I have got my routine as well, which consists of staying in bed and shouting at the dogs not to jump up.
It turned out to be very handy that we were right next to the back door, because one of the dogs had to go out to be sick, and made it to the garden, unlike yesterday. I was pleased about this.
I am going to go. I shall let you know how I get on.
The picture is Number One Daughter and her cadets, all wearing their Team Spence shirts. She is off to Berlin for the Regionals competition today, if she has managed to book a flight, which she had not quite got around to doing when I spoke to her on Tuesday.
The competition starts tomorrow. It is very exciting. I have got absolutely everything crossed for her, and a candle lit to the Weight Lifting Gods.
I hope she has an ace time.
