I have been to Asda today.
I am stocking up with everything that I can so that when face masks become compulsory I do not have to go shopping for a long, long time.
I did not stock up with nearly as much stuff as I would have liked to, because the Brave New World shelves were still very empty. I cannot think of a single reason why there should be a National Honey Shortage, but there seems to be.
Perhaps lockdown has turned everybody into Winnie The Pooh.
In any case, I will have to put a mask on and go shopping in the end. I do not think that the Government is planning to relax this rule for as far ahead as I can imagine.
All the same, I am going to put off the dreadful moment for as long as I possibly can.
I do not want to wear a mask. I have always felt horrified sympathy for the Muslim women, persuaded to cover their faces as their little act of social responsibility. They know that it is a public-spirited thing to do so that they do not inadvertently encourage the spread of wicked thoughts amongst hapless men.
I do not feel in the smallest danger of provoking wicked thoughts in anybody, but it still seems that Boris Johnson has decided to turn the entire population into letterbox-imitators.
I am not in the least looking forward to this. I like breathing cool clear air and I do not want to wear a mask.
Of course I know the arguments in favour of masks, being that it is my social responsibility not to breathe on anybody, even if I have cleaned my teeth, because they might die of it, like being a naughty dragon. Mask-wearing might be importantly responsible or it might be a political scare tactic to help the Government hold on to their emergency powers at the six-monthly review. I do not know which is true and would not consider myself informed enough to have a sensible opinion. I just know that I like breathing and looking at people’s faces, and I am very sad indeed that this dreadful thing is happening.
Some people in Asda were already wearing them, although not very many. Most people seemed to think that they would prefer to wait until they were forced. I looked and looked at faces whilst I went round, because it might be many months before this is an ordinary way to see people again.
I watched one man examining a tin of something. He looked at it for a few moments, and then took his mask off for a better look. There he put the tin in the trolley and put his mask back.
None of the staff were wearing them, which suggested that they did not want to very much, and I felt sympathetically sad for them, because when the rules come in they will not have any choice. They will have to wear masks all day every day. I can buy things online or on Kendal outdoor market, but they have got to go to work.
Fortunately, so far nobody has said that taxi drivers must wear them. I am glad about this. I do not think I would like to drive in one, I have enough problems with my glasses on my ears as it is. Also I like to see my customers’ faces. This helps me to decide if the person about to get in my car is a murderous nutter or about to throw up or just an ordinarily confused drunk. These are good things to know in advance.
I took Mark’s taxi for its MOT today, talking of being at work. It failed, but that was not a problem because we knew that it would. It had a broken sensor on the peculiarly complicated automatic braking system, and the dashboard light would not go off. Mark had ordered a new one but it did not arrive until after he had gone to work this morning, and I did not much fancy my chances at fitting it, so he rang the MOT chap and explained that he would fix it tonight. He is doing this as I write, and I am going to take it back tomorrow…
…and get my hair cut at the same time, what an excitement.
The taxi did not fail on anything else at all, which was good news.
The Peppers have cheered me up by suggesting that we make our own masks. They have just chucked out lots of old guest-house bedding and we thought that we could repurpose the pillowcases.
When the Evil Day finally arrives, we are going to cut a couple of eye-holes in each one and wear those. Recycling things is unarguably the Right Thing To Do.
I might paint a face on mine. I will put some photographs on this page.
Obviously I do not have any photographs yet because I have not done it. It is still just a gleam of an idea. Have a photograph of the conservatory at night instead.
