The Peppers came round this afternoon.
Of course they were not coming to have a cup of tea and a happily encouraging chat around the stove, perish such a wickedly antisocial, nay, criminal idea. I am expecting our beloved leader to reintroduce capital punishment for such offences any day now, by, it would appear, popular demand.
In fact the Peppers were bringing Roger Poopy back. They had taken him on their walk with them, because he likes to belt around the woods with Pepper, and because the Rule Of Not Even Three does not apply to dogs.
I was cooking, and they both sighed wistfully. They had, they explained, been going to make some chocolates for us for Christmas, because we make them for everybody else and they thought, generously, that it would be a wonderful change for somebody to make them for us.
I was very touched by this thought.
Misfortunately, our current fashion for not visiting anybody, interspersed with rushed journeys to try and see people in those brief moments when you could feel safe from being put in the stocks if anybody saw you, meant that they did not quite get around to it.
They had bought the ingredients three times already, and accidentally eaten them every time.
Of course they go off if you do not use them.
I laughed so much to hear this that it was actually rather better than a Christmas present.
It was nice to be cheered up anyway. I had just been to Asda, and my spirits were appropriately dampened. It is a wearisome trial to see empty shelves instead of useful things, like bath cleaner, and sugar, and soap powder, and wine.
I do not know what the population of Kendal is doing with itself, it seemed a peculiar selection of things for everybody to have panic-bought. Possibly everybody is occupying their acres and acres of unemployed time taking long leisurely baths instead of showers. The inevitable consequence of this would be horrid greasy rings around the sides of the bath, stuck with flakes of unwanted skin, which obviously would need cleaning during the next day’s housework, by the newly-unemployed housewife.
The soap powder might be for washing the towels, and the sugar and wine need no explanation. They are an important part of being a full time housewife, especially if you have got children. Sugar and wine are important teaching aids when you are conducting a home education, now that we do not do schools any more.
It took me longer to do the shopping than I had intended, not least because I got all the way to Kendal before remembering that I had forgotten my purse, necessitating going all the way back home again swearing and grumbling under my breath, to retrieve it. The journey was cheered by passing the local camper van showroom, and noticing for the first time ever, that prices of second-hand camper vans have gone above a hundred thousand pounds.
I was pleased about this, we are obviously in possession of a more valuable asset than we had hitherto realised, although I think it is unlikely that we would quite raise a hundred thousand pounds if we sold ours. Rather worse than that, actually, we pick up the daughter of the camper van showroom owner in the taxis occasionally. She told us that her father is dreading the day when we might come in and ask about a part exchange. Not just because he would not wish to purchase it, but because we might park it outside his shop whilst we asked him about it, and people might think that it was something to do with him.
I felt a rush of passionate relief and gratitude to think that we still have it, how grey life would have become if we did not even have that to look forward to.
I am not entirely convinced that our beloved leaders are considering allowing us to live our lives again at any time soon. As one MP astutely observed, once governments have these sorts of powers, they tend to be reluctant to surrender them in a hurry. It seems more than possible that we have had our last trip abroad.
Still, we are fortunate.
One day we will get away again. We do not even have to save up a hundred thousand pounds for a camper van first.
Have a picture of the view from my office window, taken the night before last.
