I was perplexed to discover, last night, that the film Dumbo, which has been remade to include people, was not at all as I remembered it.
There were some children instead of a talking mouse, and Dumbo did not get drunk. I seem to recollect that one of the most startling moments of the original film was the small elephant character enduring a series of hallucinations which would not have surprised Timothy Leary, after imbibing a vat of something alcoholic. There was no suggestion that he had taken any drugs, so that must just have been the animators.
Unsurprisingly, this turn of events was entirely removed from the modern version.
Also astonishing was the revised ending, in which instead of becoming successful circus performers, Dumbo and his mother get on a boat by themselves and travel to some unspecified foreign destination. Once they get there they make their way from the port into some woodland, possibly by hitch-hiking, where they discover the most improbably enormous herd of elephants.
There was still some woodland left, so what the hundred or so elephants had been eating I do not know, perhaps they had brought sandwiches.
We were united in the opinion that the film was not of the finest, most especially peculiar was the portrayal of elephants with human eyeballs. We all thought this made us mildly uncomfortable, although not sufficiently to put any of us off eating the splendid Chinese takeaway.
In consequence of such excitements we were all as little deflated this morning, when the alarm summoned us to study, and to another week of work. Lucy retreated to write an account of how she might help a cricket club stop dogs from pooing on the pitch, although she rejected my suggestion of making the owners eat it, and Mark went to work. I do not know what Oliver was doing, but I fed them all and hung their washing on the rack, and then looked dolefully at the empty log pile.
Concerns about dog poo seem to occupy police forces all over the country. Do not believe the rubbish you see on the television about them solemnly telling one another to be careful out there. Mostly the police in Windermere are managing complaints about dog poo and people parking on pavements.
I know that for certain because the chief of police told me once.
To my massive relief, the weather has finally changed. It was wet today, and a silvery mist steamed gently from the thawing ground. The soil has been lifted and aerated by the frosts, and become slippery mud everywhere.
Nevertheless, it was very much warmer.
I can hardly tell you what a good thing this is when you are cutting up your own firewood.
When there is not an icy wind finding its bitter way through every crevice, filling the walls and doorways with deathly chill, you do not need to keep shoving nearly so much wood on the fire. It does not need to roar heartily up the chimney. You can leave it to smoulder, and to fill the house with its gentle warmth.
Today’s firewood lasted for ages.
All the same it needed to be replaced.
Roger Poopy had gone off to bounce about the woods with Pepper, and so it was just me and his father.
He curled his nose into his tail and tried to make himself invisible.
I called him, and tried to sound enthusiastic, but he became smaller and smaller, and pretended to be deaf.
In the end I left him at home. He does not like rain much, and has had enough of the great outdoors.
I was not exactly impressed to get home and discover that in my absence he had been sick on the floor. Next time it is going to be compulsory.
I was not there as long as I had intended to be, because five minutes after I took the picture, the axe head broke off, and I had to fill the car with un-split logs and split them at home in the yard, with Mark’s heavy axe.
It still seemed to take ages, and I had to finish off the day at a run, so much so that even though Mark is home now, I have not got round to putting the clean sheets on the bed, and they are still draped over the banisters.
I am going to go and do that now. I do not wish to have to do is when I am full of dinner and wine later.
I will see you tomorrow.
