Cooking on gas

I am writing this on our way down the motorway to Blackpool in our very own partly-hydrogen-powered vehicle.

You will be pleased to hear that so far we have not exploded at all.

The new water power unit that we are using to replace diesel does not replace all of it, because it is made out of a coffee jar which is too small, but it does cut down the amount that we use by quite a bit, also it seems to be making the engine a bit quieter. We can tell this because we can hear each other talking, which is a novelty.

It is six o’ clock in the evening and we have only just set off. This is because when we got home last night we were so glad that it was all over we got very giggly and light spirited and drank a bottle of wine between us, and then we were not very well this morning. Also Mark’s car broke down at the very end of the night and so we ended the summer in style by having to tow it home. This did not matter because the summer was over by then. We have dumped it at the back of the house with the tow rope still attached, because we are on holiday now and we don’t care.

When we woke up this morning the people in the house opposite had got a big removal van and were moving house, so we sat in bed for ages not in the least minding our own business, drinking our coffee and having headaches and being surprised by the dullness of their furniture.

In the end we had got to get up because of going on holiday, but even then it did not happen in any great rush. We sat around the kitchen with the children for ages, drinking more coffee and talking about going on holiday. Next we went to the bank to give them our holiday winnings and Lucy’s wages, and then we started packing.

After that we went over to the farm for the camper van and Oliver drove the last bit of the way, and then Mark took Lucy off round the fields for a driving lesson whilst I packed the camper and the dogs charged about getting muddy.

The dogs are trying very hard to be good at the moment because they were in a lot of disgrace yesterday. They got so wet and muddy at the farm that on the way back Mark made them sit in the boot of his car, which is an estate car, and pulled the cover across because they kept jumping out.

Halfway home some Arabs saw that it was a taxi and flagged him down, but when they got in the dogs barked so much and ignored Mark shouting at them that the Arabs were scared. Then Mark’s dog stuck her head up through the gap in the cover and licked the Arab lady’s ear, which surprised the Arab so much that she screamed, and so Mark had to stop and they jumped out and ran away, the Arabs, not the dogs, obviously. Mark was very cross because he does not at all like it when the dogs ignore him, and also because it was double time and he could have made a tenner if only they had sat down quietly and done what they were told.

So they were in disgrace then, and have been trying hard to be good dogs ever since, but it is wearing off a bit now, they are beginning to be a bit bouncy and tiresome again. This does not matter really, because we have got to Blackpool and we are all going to go off and walk on the beach, so they can charge round to their hearts’ content.

The fuel gauge has not moved at all all the way here.

We are cooking on gas.

LATER NOTE: We have had the most fabulous, utterly marvellous evening. When we got to Blackpool we discovered that they think that the summer is over as well, and the Illuminations were lit. It was a special night for cycling through them and the whole seafront was closed to cars, just lots and lots of people cycling. We dumped the camper van and cycled ourselves then, through the fantastic Illuminations all along the Golden Mile and watched the sun set over the cold sea and looked and looked.

It is brilliant. There was Bingo and Gypsy Petulengro and candy floss and the smell of hot dogs and thousands of people on bikes, all cycling together. Some people had their bikes lit up, which Mark thought he would like to do next year but we might have to wait until we are old because we already haven’t got time for the things we are doing.

We stopped for Oliver to have two goes on a dragon shaped bouncy castle on the pier, whilst we danced to the music floating through the night from the arcades, and we were all together and the lights were glorious, and life is amazing.

I love holidays.