I am very pleased to tell you all that I am feeling joyously, contentedly happy.
I am also a little intoxicated, which is inevitable on a day off, but tiresome when one is trying to construct entertaining and worldly prose.
We are away in the camper van.
We are parked on a beach in Ulverston, a little way away from a pub which we visited once for Ritalin Boy’s Other Grandad’s funeral. We thought we might visit this again tonight, but it was misfortunately shut, so we retreated to the camper van and drank our own wine instead, which is what we are doing now.
The original plan was to eat our home-made Chinese takeaway, and then go to the cinema, but we are having such a nice time together that we gave up on that idea and had another glass of wine instead.
I thought that I would write to you now, and then we can get ourselves showered and have an early night. Mark thought he would do his maths homework, which is turning out to be a bad idea because of being drunk. I have been trying to help but misfortunately am having the same problem. Two drunk old people in a camper van trying to do sums. It is not an inspiring situation.
We have had a busy day. I spent the morning at a meeting in the police station, discussing taxis not blocking the road at the local nightclub. Mark did not go because he does not have anything to say about taxis that I can’t say perfectly well, saying things being one of my strong points, and he did need to do things to the camper van heater that I really can’t do at all.
I had a nice time, actually. I like the local police lady, and I like the chap in charge of the nightclub bouncers, and our local councillor turned up as well. which gave me an opportunity to fill his ears in about lots of things that I thought were important. He rolled his eyes, and listened patiently, even though he pointed out that after years of studying politics and economics at university, the only issues of pressing public concern he has ever had to confront in the years since then seem to be parking and public toilets. He thought this was disappointing after his youthful dreams of making the world a better and fairer place for everybody.
I like our local councillor, and since we have got a fairly adequate parking space at the back of the house, I had no reason to fall out with him, so I made sympathetic noises and we discussed our opinions of our MP, which was satisfying in a fairly malicious sort of way.
After that we contemplated parking at the nightclub until we had all finished our coffee, after which we disbanded to go our separate ways.
I went to spend our week’s takings in Asda: and shortly after I had got home Mark turned up with the camper van.
He had fixed it and we could go away.
It is not leaky and it has a functioning heater. I have been longing to have a holiday ever since the last one, and it was with delight that I stuffed the fridge full of newly-purchased Asda cheese, and leapt on board.
We came to Ulverston, where we took the dogs for a long, happy walk along the beach. I breathed in the autumn air and looked at haws and crumpling leaves and blackberries, and we watched the tide coming in.
After that we got drunk.
I can tell you that there is no greater happiness.
Mark has finished his homework. We are going to go to bed.
See you tomorrow. xxxx
LATER NOTE: We are having the loveliest time, We are sitting in the dark in the camper van listening to love songs and looking at the full moon over the sea, it looks exactly like in my bathroom picture. This is unexpectedly wonderful. Life is brilliant. I love everybody.
