Attached below is the most recent instalment in my occasional pastime of writing letters to our local council. This is a civic duty that I undertake occasionally to ensure that my opinions are not overlooked. It is good to take an active role in the policies of one’s local area.
Dear Tony,
Over the last year or so it has increasingly come to my attention that policies espoused by our national government are becoming more and more detrimental to the taxi trade, and I wonder if South Lakeland might be able to help us.
As you might be aware, the success of a Lake District taxi company is very largely dependent on members of the public being too fat and idle to walk a couple of hundred yards round the corner back to their hotel.
Given our current government’s determined banging on about healthy eating and exercise, I have become concerned that eventually the taxi trade will suffer hugely if people start to believe them.
With this in mind I would like to see South Lakeland becoming the exception to the rule.
I wonder if it might be possible for our tourist board to take the position that in this area of the country, being portly and idle is positively encouraged. I am sure members of the public will find this a welcome relief from constant exhortations to go jogging and eat five vegetables every day. We could position ourselves in the marketplace as the place where people can go and leave their guilt at home.
Slogans like: “ Come to the Lake District, drink beer and eat pies,” might be a start, or: “Obesity! Okay with us,” might be helpful, and I wonder if you might consider presenting this suggestion to the sectors of the council that deal with the tourism industry.
As a part of that industry, taxis need people who are in a state of health where they can barely do more than waddle if they are to truly rake in profits. I believe that as our local council, it would be a good thing for this to be thoroughly encouraged. It isn’t even as if there will be a likely cost effect on our own health service as of course none of the tourists actually live here, and they can go home and have their heart attacks there.
I would be very grateful if you could give this issue some consideration and then make representations to the relevant sectors of the council on behalf of our trade.
Best wishes,
Sarah Ibbetson
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for your interesting proposal for encouraging tourism in the Lake District. I think we could start by looking at the ‘strap-line’ that is used to promote the District by the Council, which is currently “Making South Lakeland the best place to live, work and explore”. If your ideas are embraced, a minor alteration could be made (at minimal cost) to encompass the revised proposal, perhaps something along the lines of “Making South Lakeland the best place to live, work and explore safely by taxi”. Were this to be the case, the area would reap huge benefits as there would be nobody clambering on the clattering crags, therefore;
there would be no need for the various landowners to repair and maintain footpaths, bridleways and byways;
the demand for mountain rescue services would diminish to zero;
the demand for car parking spaces in areas of relative tranquillity would reduce, and;
anorak and boot shops could easily be transformed into pubs and pie shops.
However, as a humble licensing officer, I am not in a position to influence such decisions. To start with, I have forwarded this e-mail Mrs Earnshaw, who is the Council’s ‘health and wellbeing’ officer, for consideration.
Yours sincerely,
Tony Houlihan | Licensing Officer
South Lakeland District Council.
Dear Tony,
Thank you for your prompt response. It is good to see the proposal being considered and indeed expanded, you raise some very good points.
However, it might be preferable to modify your suggested strap line, and would like to propose: “Making South Lakeland the best place to live, work and explore, with no effort whatsoever, by taxi.”
This protects us from any potential legislation in the event of somebody getting in with one of the more excitable drivers and becoming alarmed by their driving practices.
It also reinforces the message that the Lake District encourages nicely passive activities rather than exhausting charging about in the rain. Sloth without guilt is popular with everybody.
I look forward to the Council exploring this proposal further.
Best wishes,
Sarah.
I am looking forward to a reply.
The picture is the new wardrobe door for the camper van. It is not finished yet, but slow progress is being made.
