It is quite astonishing how much faffing about it takes to make a Caesar salad.
Making a Caesar salad is a special way of making a salad that is entirely bad for you.
First you fry chicken and bacon, preferably in a mixture of sesame oil and butter, which gives them a good flavour.
Then you fry bread in the remains of the oil, of which there should be plenty, and chuck it in the oven for a few minutes to become croutons.
You make a dressing by mixing mayonnaise with lemon juice and sugar, and then you mix the lot together with some lettuce and cheese.
It must have about five hundred calories in every ounce, making it the nicest salad of all time.
I do not mind getting a bit fatter at the moment, because my new dress arrived this morning, and it is ever so slightly too big.
Not by very much, just a bit, mostly on the shoulders and the waist. I would like it to fit tightly, in a streamlined Marilyn Monroe sort of way, and it doesn’t.
Not that I would look much like Marilyn Monroe anyway, because of her being blonde with red lipstick. I do not have any red lipstick. I have got some muted brownish lipstick which is far more ladylike for a person who is on the downhill slope to being sixty.
I bought it to wear when we got married, which was a long time ago now, so it has lasted nicely. I do not use lipstick very often, because I do not really understand why I might want to paint a pretend face over the face that I have really got. I know that I am supposed to do this, and so every now and again, when it is important that I look middle class, I have a go. It never works very well because I am rubbish at it.
Also if I absolutely had to paint my face, really I would like to make it look interesting and exciting. I would do gold bits and iridescent bits, and butterflies and maybe a snake somewhere. I expect there is a rule somewhere that says that you are not allowed to do this, because despite all of the wonderful makeup you can buy, some of it costing about a hundred pounds an ounce, you never see anybody with a really stunningly thrilling made-up face, at least not unless you are in Disneyland.
Inspired by the new-too-big-dress discovery I tried my other dress on, the one that I usually wear at Christmas, and it turns out that that has grown too big as well, so I must have got thinner when I had bat flu.
This means that I have a couple of choices open to me, I can either wear a cardigan over it, or I can get it altered at the tailor’s shop, or I can just eat a bit more for a while.
I know which option sounds the most appealing, and I am just starting on the ginger-and-pistachio cake that I made earlier on in the week.
I spent much of today, as you have gathered, in making the Caesar salad, after which I fried some sweet potatoes in the Air Fryer, which is not really an air fryer because you still have to put a little bit of oil in. It should be called a Not Very Oily Fryer.
I could put some more oil in it now.
The picture is Number One Daughter and her commanding officer after the Warrior Fitness competition, the other chap is the male winner. The Commanding Officer is very proud of her.
I just thought you might like to see it.
