I am on the taxi rank and should have written this ages ago.
I did not, not because I have been busy, but because of being too idle. I was reading my book and then reading the newspaper, after which I scrolled through Facebook for about twenty minutes. I did not find a single thing of interest therein, and was cross with myself for being so weak-willed as to be drawn into its tedious marketing and politically-loaded whitterings.
I do not like Facebook, and sooner or later am going to close my account. I would have done this ages ago, if it were not for so many people reaching these pages via its site, but the day will come. It turns out in any case that it is not a site for young people, who almost all shun it in favour of more modish social media. I think probably Snapchat and Instagram are their sites of choice.
I have got accounts with these, I think, but have failed to understand how they work, and so never use them.
I have been considering whether or not I might use my New Year Resolutions as a moment for making this change. I did very well with last year’s resolution, which was to have a clean bathroom for the whole year.
I have actually achieved this.
Every morning whilst Mark makes the coffee, I go into the bathroom and clean the big mirror and the bath and sink. It is my most loathed job, and it casts a pall of gloom over every single morning, but once it is done it is done. I can have my coffee and think, with satisfaction, that I will have a shiny bathroom all day.
I do not forget the loo, so do not bother to write to me pointing it out. I chuck bleach down it, but some time later in the day, so that I do not inadvertently splash it on my dressing gown.
Mark contributes as well. Every night when he finishes his shower he wipes the small mirrors and the shelves.
We have cleaned the bathroom every single day this year, except when we had bat flu, during which period we were too sick to have cared even if the dog had died in the bath and was still there a fortnight later.
Of such small triumphs is happiness created. I never need to worry that we are going to have visitors who might be confronted by black mould and hairy soap, and thus question our aspirationally almost-middle-class status.
It has been a good Resolution, although admittedly tedious, and not one that I think I will be able to allow myself to give up now that the year is up. I have created a chore that might well last for the rest of my life.
I am mildly regretful about this, but know that I like having a clean bathroom so very much that it is worth it. Probably.
I have felt so pleased with the result that I have contemplated adding to it. I could, for instance, dust my dressing table every night whilst Mark is in the shower, and thus never suffer that irritating moment when I pick something up and notice that it has left its impression in the dust that has silently been snowing around it for the last week.
I probably won’t do this. Once I have started it will be very difficult to stop, and I do like the few moments of reading in bed whilst I am on my own.
I have got a very dull book at the moment and so am not reading in bed very much. It is called Waterlands and is about a history teacher whose father was a lock keeper.
I might have been interested in stories about locks and gates and bridges and people drowning occasionally, but it manages to be very much duller than that. It talks about marsh lands and families who make beer, and there is a hint that sooner or later somebody might abduct a child. I have been looking forward to that bit, and have flicked forward to see how long I have got to wait, but have not been able to find out yet. I hope he has not made it up just so people don’t take the book back to the library with the bookmark left in it halfway through.
That is always a bad sign.
I keep reading whole pages and noticing that I have not taken in a single word. Fortunately this does not matter very much as most of the pages are pretty similar. You do not need to keep track of the action.
It won the Booker Prize. I am not surprised.
It is very good indeed at encouraging me to nod off. I can recommend it to anybody who has a problem with insomnia.
I am going to have to read it now. There are still no customers.
I had better go and get on with it.
